" Now come on fellas, we've come a long way to talk to the Papa and we have a package for him, no point in stalling any longer, where is he?"
"Well Major Sir, I'm afraid you don't talk to the Papa, Sir , you listen to him, and Sir, I am unaware of any such person or entity... nor would I be disposed to discuss such a person if he in fact did exist."
" Tell me where he is will you! Is he off surfing?"
" Surfing? What the hell do you know about surfing Major? You're from goddamned New Jersey!"
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Perhaps Papa would consider recording tales of Pacific adventure for the world to hear. Kind of like Armed Forces Radio.
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